These are infact text messages between a good friend and myself. I have only cut and paste one sided conversation and edited some of it. It was interesting hence I thought it was to be captured!
21/03/2014
Doesn't matter how much mother and father deny this, but I was brought up that way. Looking out for fine details, and over the years I have learnt to appreciate life from a molecular aspect. I believe my subject of study is partly to be blamed for this, or I may just have some sort of compulsive disorder (a pathetic excuse for being such an ass). Pondering about things that are beyond my control is just miserable.
Wish it was easier than this. Although, I know this that I cannot blame Him for any of this, but the fact is I always do. I thought about quite a lot of things today, I didn't leave the lab at all purposefully. I didn't feel like eating, I wanted to protest, by going on a hunger strike.
So silly I can be sometimes. This sort of behaviour is not expected from an individual, whom has taken the nector of a double edged sword - A favourite sentence of my wife's. I am allowed to behave this way, I feel obnoxious by keeping it to me. Throwing a happy face at everyone for me is as comparable to grafting a smiley on an overly ripped banana. The bloody thing is still going to go brown and horrible anyway!
22/03/2014
Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa, Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fathe veer, as I was typing out the reply; thought it had become few paragraphs than few lines. Hence just put it up on the blog. Title should have been 'GurSikhs are allowed to be angry and mad' don't you think :)
There are few reason as to why I am feeling this way. First of all I think there isn't a leak, which is good. however need to get to the root cause of the problem. Now, a lot of mere issues have sprung up in a very short span of time. Also, slowly I have realised that the job issue is slightly more concerning than I originally thought. I Will see how things turn out..
Yes I do ask for Akaal Purakh's guidance but I feel I should be concentrating my spiritual energy else where. I know none of this is his fault but just can't help being a selfish human sometimes. To be honest cannot thank Him enough for what He has given until now. I was watching one of the serials of House. In the show patient receives wrong diagnosis for terminal cancer, and he went away and enjoyed life to the fullest. He threw a get-together and spent a lot in reunions and planned travel. He comes back for briefing and was told he isn't dying. The patient was totally shocked and was in disbelief! He complained that he now needs to go back and earn to pay all those bills. Dying is easy, living is hard!
